MUM'S
DIARY
My
heart was broken when Mum died,
I'd
never known such pain,
She
and I were very close,
Since
then my life's not been the same.
Pure anguish
was my last farewell,
An
ache like none before,
I
thought and walked, as in a trance,
Hard
to accept Mum was no more.
Later, I
went through her things,
A
daughter's final task,
The hardest
thing I've ever done,
And for
my Mum, the last.
I
came across her diary,
Upon
a closet shelf,
Dad
wanted me to have it,
As
a gift from Mum herself.
I
put it carefully away,
I'd look
another time,
Then,
I could not handle it,
Although
the book was mine.
My
life went on, as it was meant,
And
I, too, became a mother,
I
experienced something very new,
A
love quite different from all
others.
I
wondered if my mom had felt
This
way when I arrived,
How
I wish I could have asked her,
How
I wish she were alive.
And
while my kids were growing up,
And
I felt their growing pains,
I
wonder if, when I was there,
My Mum
had felt the same.
After
they had grown and left,
One
day I found Mum's log,
I
had not thought of it in years,
I
was surely led by God.
Now that
I was more mature,
It
seemed okay to look inside,
The
first tear that I shed, of course,
Was
for the fine penmanship I spied.
An
art long gone and taught no more,
I
traced each letter with my
finger,
I hugged
Mum's book against my heart,
A
special calm came, as I lingered.
And
then I started reading,
The
sweet words my mother wrote,
Her
heart exposed on pages,
Her
dreams, her wants, her hopes.
The
very things she'd written down,
Were
as mirrors of my thoughts,
"Like
mom, Like daughter," one might
say,
I
found exactly what I sought.
Just
as I loved my kids so much,
I
learned my Mum loved me,
Oh,
I knew she did, of course,
Though
not aware of the degree.
Still
holding mother's diary,
I
took my telephone in tow,
I
called each son and daughter,
And
said right out, "I love you
so!"
Who
cares if they think I'm crazy?
Later
on the time may come,
They'll
recall a special phone call,
Filled
with love straight from their
Mum.
And then
I said, "I love you,
Mum,"
And
blew kisses heavenward,
"And,
I love you back, my darlin',"
Were
the very words I heard.
Dedicated
to Kate Tanks
Virginia
(Ginny) Ellis
© Copyright 2001
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